alisterlevet: (Hey!)
[personal profile] alisterlevet
Dear sir or madam; as the case may be,

Thought it pains you little that I haven’t written you in a while, I assure you it’s for no good reason at all. I have been sitting on my ass doing other things rather than thinking of you, them, or who ever else gave a flip.

It seems as though I have plenty of time to sit around and do the things I care about. Speaking of doing the things I care about for those of you who do not know. I am in a very happy healthy relationship that takes up most of my time, and very little out of pocket expense. My mother whom I had a long conversation with before I moved to Sin Ville stated no hookers, prostitutes, so on so forth. Much to the delight of Mormon’s and Southern Baptist sitting just inches away as they drew closer still with each mention of hooker and prostitute, that draw them closer like the abominable vampires of terror that they become. I don’t know if you remember that posting but, my mother who has crap in her ears yells HOOKER and PROSTITUTE in public quite frequently, it is part of being deaf, and nothing to do with the Ferret’s Syndrome (where you’re rat like, and run around getting yourself into other people’s business) “What yah doing, why you doing it, who called?” Which by the way is actually one question in and of itself, but I am rambling again; back to the situation at hand.

I am happy as a lark, I am poor, but I have found a way to need very little money for things that have to be paid for. I don’t pay state taxes because we don’t pay that here, on any money we earn. I also don’t earn any money so I can’t give anyone anything I don’t have anyway. We also don’t pay taxes on any food products that are not produced for our current viewing pleasure. I think it’s the eat it now rule of taxes, if you can eat it now, you’re taxed. If you have to cook that shit yourself, the state gives you a tax break. Which is made possible only by the donations of you’re local HOOKERS and/or PROSTITUTES. AND THE CASINO INDUSTRY who much likes the Devil gave his only begotten son to die in a pool of Baptist for your hard earned paycheck so he could give us sinners a tax break on bread and wine. (Evil grin)

But in all seriousness, I am happy, which is something that I don’t say too often, or at all really. The only liabilities that I have are: I have to pay for this trailer $2000.00 which is not a lot considering a new one of this size would cost some tens of thousands. That we are paying monthly at a very reasonable rate of 2 Benjamin’s. (Apostrophe will be added to keep the spell checker happy) (New subject because I never finish discussing my financial situation with you, and I have a 40 billion track mind.)
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sortall
The apostrophe has three uses:
1) to form possessives of nouns
2) to show the omission of letters
3) to indicate certain plurals of lowercase letters
Apostrophes are NOT used for possessive pronouns or for noun plurals, including acronyms.
sortend
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I just found out that I have been using apostrophe like a catastrophe all along thanks to the wonderful spellchecker group at Microsoft who also brought you wonderful programming languages like Xbox (it’s not a windows it’s not a Linux) it’s XBE written in XDK solely for your viewing pleasure with really large WAV DAT and WMA files. We have to try to make those discs over 4.5G because someone will surely figure a way to hack us; Instead of using mp3, and DivX for games which take up no space at all. In any case I am rambling again. But that brings us to what I have been doing lately.

Now that I have had more time on my hands, I have been finding newer and more interesting ways to hack into and modify my outdated modifications of my Xbox. Which is actually Xbox number two the first one I killed with a knife. The Twinkies made me do it. Goes to show you when I began this little project I knew nothing about how to put in a mod chip that is (cough) solder less. Which now with my electronics expertise taught to me by the losers at the Imperial Palace Hotel and Casino, I probably could have saved that poor thing, but alas my mother threw it away, with all the other garbage, game saves I will never see again? (Damn grammar checker making shit a question, to be or not to be?)

So there I was a scared little youth no bigger than a baby polar bear, when my gay adopted father’s friend Carl and him were discussing my coping of DVD movies. And he turns to me and said, mutter mutter mumble something about have you figured out how to copy Xbox games yet? Perky eared and bright eyed I went, ah duh?!?! So I have come along way from not knowing shit playing psycho on my first Xbox, to having a limited copy of whatever the hell dashboard I am using that would only let me ftp in and really nothing else, to discovering the multi-dimensional scope of how you can actually use the Xbox to view DVD’s without a Dongle. I just love saying dongle! I want to go to Australia and talk about dongles all day long, and how I don’t need a dongle and how it’s best to be dongle free. Freedom from all language and limited dangling that dongles possess; in any case enough about the dongle. Some of us have dongles and some of us don’t. And if you ever want to hear about me in kindergarten discovering the difference between boys and girls and drawing penises on everything in my coloring book, and girls have little pink tacos stories be sure and ask my mother she will tell you, which is what the word Dongle means to me in a nut shell.

For those of you who are interested in the little pink tacos story and I must say I know you are all curious. When I was in kindergarten I was basically the teacher’s assistant because back in that decade they couldn’t afford them or something. In any case I used to help the teacher with the kids because I was the teacher’s pet go figure, and I came home one day and said to my mother. I know the difference between little boys and little girls. And she said something along the lines of, “oh yeah what?” and I said, “A little pink taco.”

So back to what I was saying before I got off track for the 40th time, I have not only acquired a sum of close to 500 movies for my viewing pleasure and a sum of 100 adult titles, and 75 to 100 Xbox games, and though Gamespot calls me an Xbox Aficionado I have far more movies and adult movies than I do games. But I have discovered new and interesting ways to acquire said titles after some high bitch crashed into the only fucking movie store we have here, just another reason why people should not use drugs. Drugs may not kill, and there may not be anyone who is any danger to anyone when they are high, but they sure as fuck will think 40 people are demons on the Las Vegas strip and run them all down killing six and wounding at least sixteen others, as well as crash into a perfectly good glass and brick wall causing me not to be able to get my fucking movies for a month, and Xbox games on an ratio of one to three. By the way these are two separate incidences from two separate people one male and one female in a sixty mile radius of each other. But there again I am spouting out my personal opinion about something I know nothing about from years of lack of experience, much like Clinton.

So in any case back to what I was talking about, I can now use my Xbox to view files of my computer because I finally have XBMC which allows me to view DivX movies 700MB 2.5hour movies just as crisp and clear as if they were on a fucking 9G disc those waste of space bastards that want to horde all of the damn virtual world for themselves in the form of plastic and silicone. Meaning 1/13th the size of the fucking movie that it started out to be, and that for any video media is pretty good compression.

On to the next subject, whatever that is, hmmm.

I guess the other thing that I was going to say is I am going to either go to college to learn how to game program, or read up on as many C++ books as I can and figure it out on my own. But my point is that will take up a lot of time as well.

Aside from that State Farm insurance is a hassle. That brings us finally to expense number two I have to pay for car insurance. I don’t even have to pay taxes on what I eat to get fat but I have to pay for someone else who doesn’t know how to fucking drive; Go figure.

And electricity, which if I had solar panels, I wouldn’t have to pay for. It gets pretty hot here during the day. I am thinking to myself there should be a way to colonize Venus by this time next year, if we can live here, because 900 degrees seems like mere child’s play at times. Not to mention my idea of making the abandoned truck an aquarium was quickly thwarted due to the fish boiling at high temperature. But alas it would still be amusing at the very least.

Oh and we pay for natural gas, which I have plenty of if I could only find a way to bottle it like Link in The Legend of Zelda, like a fart in the wind, like a fart in the wind. Anyways speaking of fairies, I want to write a gay movie and name it Rose Petal. I am just not sure how to get Wayne Brady into a dress. He can sing he can dance and he’s the only black man that I know who hasn’t been in some sort of movie as a drag queen. Not to mention I feel sorry for the guy because he doesn’t get any 50 million dollar rolls in any movies when all those other losers are getting crappy movies that suck. The more I watch him the more I think, that boy has talent, stick him in a dress and call it a day. I do wonder on what day, and what series of events transpired to make society believe that a black male can only survive in show business if he is dressed up, very poorly I might add as a black woman, and may I dare say comedians as well, it’s a tragedy. Someone get green peace on the phone, or the N double A C P. Got to have the double, and I am surprised they didn’t throw an R’ah in there for good measure.

And now to my review of Dreamfall the Longest Journey for the Xbox, one of the only positive reviews I have done.

Other than that if anyone has a copy of or has seen Silent Hill the movie, I would like to
1) Know how it was
2) Get a copy mailed to my door step

That is if it is any good. I would like to know it’s good and then the as a stipulation of it being good I would like a copy, if that makes any sense to you, if it doesn’t go back and research the terms for run on sentences, and their usage and meaning made possible to you today in part by the letter “U” and the word COOKIES which should never be non plural, because one cookie is never enough.

I would have done the post about marinating my balls in vinegar but I know this post would be overshadowed by the horror and humor of it all. The end.

Date: 2006-08-24 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lupinelullaby.livejournal.com
I still wish I had gotten a picture of that, but I was too busy making your situation worse by suggesting different things that could possible help (but I wouldn't recommend trying... but of course you'll try them anyway) and laughing my ass off at the scene before me. Oh well, maybe next time. (grin)

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